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Sunday, September 13, 2009

Relationship tidbits: SUCKED

You meet the girl, she meets you. Then now you feel physically attracted to her. You may just want to experiment, have an adventure or just out of curiosity or even lust. You see her once in two or three days. Then go home talk to each other for few minutes.

After sometime you see her more often. More you talk. Then you see even more often, you see her everyday really every day. By now both of you start talking. You even have to hear her out. She starts talking, and both have equal chance to talk. Now she starts talking more often, more and more. So to reciprocate and be fair you give more and more time and listen.

She starts occupying more and more of the limited brain space. You go out on dates with her which could last from a few hours to just a meal. Then you go home and talk on the phone doing the girly stuff of how beautiful it was and all the crap. Somewhere down with you know she is hot, that’s all that matters.

Now she takes a few hours of your brain time. She makes you want to be yourself and pumps your ego. Dates continue and start getting longer and even longer and even more intimate. Reach home and post-date phone conversations start getting longer and start running into late night and you have trouble keeping up with work in office or college the next day. Then this continues on and on for few weeks to few months.

The dates and phone calls start getting longer and more and more and even more intimate. You enjoy it! You love it! By now you realize that what started as meal-dates become evening-dates then went on to become day-out dates. Your calendar begins to looks like daylight: meet her, be with her and moonlight: talk to her on the phone. You check you dialed calls list and see only her number for all the phones memory capacity.

Without realizing that you have a dick and you had friends who too had dicks, when was the last time you called you male friends? Beware when you feel so proud that you are taking care of the person you like. By now your relationship has moved into the so called lure of physical attraction.

Where every time you meet you get lured into physical attraction and a small dose of kisses, passionate kisses, you get to hold her, touch her in different places (generally the breast, stop thinking any further). You have lost the match. You have LOST. Game Over.

This small doses of physical stuff unevenly spread out across time and your wants to have more and more of it, keeps you with her for longer and longer. There is this promise, a light at the end of the tunnel that you know if you be nice and good with her you can have more elixir of life. This makes you like dog wagging his tale in anticipation of more love and attention and more elixir.

You can’t see through. You can’t think. Because every time you try to think what is happening, you find it hard pressed to think. You realize your inability to think. Every time you force yourself to think you realize a drop in blood pressure, major changes, the blood gushes to the smaller head which is unable to perform the higher cognitive tasks. The larger head start experiencing something new and different chemical changes. A different kind of high. Basically your hormones screw things up. You have been addicted to this even more potent addiction than cocaine. In some way this is a turning point.

Now most likely she will ask you to join her when she meets her friends. She will introduce you to them. The social importance that you receive from her friends makes you really extra proud. But realize that you are getting sucked!!! Slowly and slowly her friends become your friends. You hang out with them. You are the only dick among an ocean of pussies. You still don’t realize.

You start losing touch with your friends (by which I mean in the distant past that you had friends with dicks). You feel so unconnected to your friends. You feel you have to restart building the relationship with dick friends. So much trouble and one faithful day you are in two minds whom should I call your dick friend or your beloved gf’s girl friend. You make a fatal mistake you call the later.

You are getting sucked into the quick sand of love and relationship. You realize every minute your brain is thinking is something related to your relationship, a fight, a date, a beautiful moment, her friends. There is misallocation of cognitive ability. What happened to your personal goals, your hobbies, your passions, your creative pursuits, your family, your friends? But you don’t realize it. You still get sucked deeper into it via elixir, fights, thinking how to make up, thinking how to make her happy which becomes seemly difficult and a battle uphill.

Now she asks you to come home for a cup of tea or coffee or even simple exchange of books, notes. You agree. Another big ‘sucked move’. Just another reason to get you home. You go to her home have coffee get acquainted with her home. A few more times it happens. And feel extremely comfortable with going over to her place. Then one day she introduces you to her parents. Then it continues. Life goes on pretty normally and the same continues. Then she finds her way to your home. She meets your parents and siblings. She becomes friends with your mom. Calls home and worst case scenario gossip away with your mom. Your parents talk about her and she is all around you, all over you, all in you.

That is all your brain can see, think, and feel. You have no friends, no family, no privacy, nothing. You want your life back, but you can’t, you want to spend those times when you could sit with other dick-guys and ogle, rate by-standers on a scale of 1 to 10, watch sports and curse, get involved in fights, do outrageous things, feel testosterone and adrenaline. You want your hobbies back; basically you want your life back the way it was.

This is how you feel: Heavy flow with painful cramps, monthly reminders of what you have become with pleasant dreams and never ending wait for menopause.

Moral of the story you are “SUCKED”.

- Dedicated to my friend Mithisha for all the encouragement to write my Suction Effect in relationships.

WARNING: DON'T FORM OPINIONS WITHOUT KNOWING FACTS. AND SEE THIS AS A CREATIVE PIECE OF SHIT

Friday, September 11, 2009

Relationship tidbits: Indian Perspective

Darwinian Indian Male:

The Indian male faces a lot of challenges in courting a woman. He not only combats the slow response systems of Indian girls but also has to fight the moral police, continuous surveillance of parents, the extremely conservative society, and the public mockery and demonization by friends and family for having a girl friend. It takes some real ‘Darwin theory’ of only the fittest would get to mate. Indian youth have recently been blessed with their internet connections and personal cell phones. Parents sponsor cell phones to add armor in their surveillance intelligence tools. In spite of the harsh environment Indian male youths venture out towards the fairer sex.

Diplomatic Indian Female:

Young Indian women are not under much different environment, maybe even worse. They are subject to ridiculous times to return home, no night outs, no girls night, no male friends in birthday celebrations, oh shit!!! NO male friends in the first place. I doubt they even understand their own sexual needs, they probably have even never heard of sex until they reach college. In society prevails a quixotic celebration when a male loses virginity but that female might be burnt alive for her frivolous character. Due this high stakes, for an Indian woman, if she was to date a guy, she better make sure she closes the deal that leads to a marriage. This is a high stakes game. Practically, zero margin for error. One mistake and you would be castigated. So she plays it extremely safe and does not venture out into the unknown and chooses her moves very cautiously.

Logical Fallacies: Gods Discourse

This discourse between the gods (Indian Mythology figures)

Disclosure: All characters are fictional. Any resembles to anything is purely fictional. Please don't castigate me! --- I know they might invoke strong emotions among some but try to see them lightly as humans living in the house next door. --

Ram: You know my wife, Sita is pregnant, and what should I do?

Ravan: Do you want the child?

Ram: No, it is not mine; she got pregnant when I was at war.

Ravan: 21st century solution, just get an abortion. No more fairy tale stuff of mother earth eating her. That's my opinion. Ask a few more and then make a decision.

Ram: Yeah, I will ask a few more people.

Ram: Yo, Yo Jesus, what u say, YO about my issue?

Jesus: Have an issue

Ram: Didn't you read my email? You should check with your secretary?

Jesus: Ya, I read it, and my solution is having an issue.

Ram: What? What? What?

Ram: Okay I get it, No No, (says to himself: to make it simple issue = child) I don't want this child and would like to use the technology of our creations called "Abortion". Even Ravan seconds my view. I am almost in for it.

Jesus: NO!!! NO!!!

Jesus: Abortion is Bad, NO ABORTION (Jesus shouts). I tell you not to have an abortion.

Ram: Chill out man! Just wanted your opinion not for you to make my decision.

Jesus: Ravan is bad person, and so what he says is wrong (one version of Indian mythology portrays him as bad person)

Ram: Hum, I see you point. Let me think about.

(Individual thinking: Jesus is attacking the person making the argument not the argument which is confusing Ram, this is a common logical fallacy called - "Ad hominen")

Jesus: That Ravan, Fu**er, what to screw your life, wants to see you widowed so he could marry off his daughter Jessica Simpson with you, you Ram, it’s a ploy.

Ram: I never thought of that possibility

Ram: But, how will Sita (Ram's wife) die, Jesus?

Jesus: Most women die after abortion. (Gals not true - abortion is safe)

Ram: Ya, I kind of agree Ravan is trying to convince me of killing my own wife.

(Ram is enraged, picks up is AK-57 and semi-automatic pistol with a army knife to go after Ravan)

(Individual thinking: A Possibility is projected as Certainty. Sita COULD die not WOULD die. Logical Fallacy - Appeal to Probability)

Jesus: Calm down, friend. Calm down!

Ram: So confused can't think, shit I should have more IQ. Ahh, maybe that not what I exactly need, but probably should have practiced individual thinking and learn't in school how to think but I rote learned to get better grades. Shit can't solve my personal life issues!!!!

Jesus: Don't worry, don't question your education, it was created by a very reputed committee of Brahmins. They know what they are doing; see because of this you have succeeded so much in life. King God of Sexland!

Ram: Oh ya, those Brahmins know what there are doing, they are best IT guys in town, they freaking can remember all those versus. Ya Ya those intelligent people know. They must be correct.

Jesus: Don't worry why don't you go and talk to Muhammad, say what, generally these days he's been singled out for most of things, he may be able to provide an unbiased opinion.

(Individual thinking: Two more f**kups - Jesus just shut Ram's mind by logical fallacy "Appeal to Authority" - As mentioned above Brahmins were good IT guys not necessarily good Education policy setters. Another screw-up here is "REPUTED" Committee, so a way to stop Ram from questioning the kind of his education by a logical fallacy of "Appeal to Popularity" - 'since the committee is reputed so it must be right' that the kind of argument. )

Ram heads of to Muhammad. Muhammad welcomes him with both arms and assures him that he would do everything in his capacity to help him. Ram explains the dilemma should Sita get an abortion.

Muhammad: Oh friend, so I see, humm, humm, (thinking, thinking)

Muhammad: So why do u want to have an abortion in the first place?

Ram: Actually, I think I am not yet ready for it, the war just got over and I’m broke, I am just not ready, even if I raise this kid, which is not mine, I don't think then I won't be able to raise a kid which is my own progeny.

Muhammad: That sounds impressive, well thought out reason to justify your position. Come on tell me the truth?

Muhammad: Due to this long war, I have not enough sex, and now during this hard won peace, I cannot have sex again for few more months completely not acceptable, I don't like the manual hold, I love the automatic hold, so gratifying...ah ah...

Muhammad: Ok OK stop getting more graphic about things, I see.

Muhammad: Let me help you.

Ram: Good that's the reason I am here, say now quick, I want to go back to Sita now quickly

Muhammad: You are a warrior, warrior would do the right thing even if required kill, so you must have the abortion.

Ram: But Muhammad, my conscience hurts isn't this argument to suit my convenience???

Muhammad: No, I don't think, this is Jihad for the right thing, you will be sent to Haven on the Judgment day.

(Individual thinking: Muhammad makes here a "fallacy of necessity", in simple English when he enforces it is necessary to kill to be a warrior which is not technically true he could give up his role as warrior. Also another 'fallacy of necessity' is ignoring other plausible solutions are thought of, if Ram was not ready he could offer the baby for adoption after birth and for his sexual pleasures for the mean time he could have a couple of mistresses.)

Fallacies covered in this post

1.Ad hominen

2. Appeal to Probability

3. Appeal to Authority

4. Appeal to Popularity

5. Fallacy of necessity


IF YOU ENJOYED IT PLEASE LEAVE ME A COMMENT- DO NOT STEAL THE CONTENT WITHOUT GIVING CREDIT.

There are many more logical fallacies, one can check the links below for more info.

http://www.logicalfallacies.info/

http://www.nizkor.org/features/fallacies/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fallacies

Check my next post plan to cover a few more in the same discourse style.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Alcohol vs. Alcoholism

Yesterday after a long debate have been able to come up with a theory of Alcohol vs. Alcoholism.

Alcohol is bad?

- It is not poison, its abuse is bad. For example alcohol has medical uses many cold and cough medicines have it as an ingredient. But if one abuses its use it is bad - I agree abusing the use of alcohol is bad.

Religions have denied it? There must be some rational?

- Religions and people from ancient times have understood the addictive nature of alcohol that it has on people in general and hence have banned it. But one must understand religions have to recommend things that are good at society level in a simple black and white statement to avoid confusion. They not necessarily do a good task at individual level.

Alcohol is addictive?

- Limited usage of Alcohol is not addictive. Yes I must agree that when one gets used to alcohol and its pleasures they get addicted to it. But my point of argument is that so many things one could get addicted to biscuits, cleanliness, chocolates, cakes, sitcoms, movies, novels, news, etc.

Alcohol addiction is bad?

- Agreed. 100%

So why is it denied by so many cultures?

- Alcohol let me say has tempting properties to which a large proportion of the population will succumb. But again my point as in one of my previous post, it has a high probability that people will addicted but the probability is not one. This is where the individual factors of personality come into play. Thus many cultures saw this potential harm to its people and thus applied a blanket ban on alcohol.

Please distinguish between Alcohol and Alcoholism.

Un/Learn to play!!!

United States even in midst of the financial crisis is the only nation to be still labeled as the superpower. Also in the foreseeable future USA would continue to maintain this position. No doubt that this position would be challenged by emerging nations specially China. Some of my experiences show me that this country and its people make conscience investment to maintain that edge over the world. One area that I see this being done at the grass root level is in education.

We need to understand the world is rapidly changing in the last 300-400 years and continuous to do so. The rate of change or the first derivative is much higher in the modern times than it was in 1000 year back or even before. Why am I getting to this discussion? Because it is important for one to understand that human beings need to develop (be trained) certain skills that would enable them to earn for themselves and make money. (Wages are higher for the skills in demand)

Historically, with agriculture, industrialization one needed a slew or battery of workers who would follow a particular pattern of work and continue to do it for the entire day. Thus our schooling system was so designed. We were made to reach to school early in the morning, punctuality was paramount. We wore uniforms so our individualities were suppressed (as in factories) and we were all being told what to do what to read, how to do and how are behavior should be, combined with other rules and discipline that we needed to maintain. Our schools were the feeder system, a training ground, for the industries.

Economic value of the skills of being disciplined, following order, not thinking, mundane working, was high, hence higher monetary reward for it. Thus that is why you would find your grandparents, in some cases your own parents all about discipline, no questioning of the established order. But now the world is changing, going back to my previous point that the rate of change in the world is much higher. In simple words, the world is changing quickly.

Our economies have changed, we moved from Agriculture to Industrialization to Services and now as some predict we are about to move into an Experience economy. Those who perfected agriculture could command a premium from those who were still dependent on hunting and other primitive methods of survival like food gathering.

Then the world caught up so Europe moved into industrialization and they could command a premium for their goods and this is one of the reasons that they could colonize a large part of the world.

But then again in the recent past of 50-100 years the manufacturing industries started losing the battle and it was the Services sector that was commanding the premium and the western world was soon to adapt and prepared for it and were ready for the change. The activity of lower economic value was outsourced to the emerging nations like Japan, South Korea, China, Vietnam, Philippines and others. And the western world continued to reap large premium for the Services sector. I predict that as the world now moves the Experience sector would be the next big thing. Again these countries would be able to maintain their advantage as they have a better standard of living, law and order and general civil liberties. More people will want to experience these experiences.

The above thesis can be easily verified from how the composition of GDP changed over the years for these western countries. Today most of their GDP is largely from Services Sector.

So what happened, where am I going? What happened to my primary point of discussion? With all this we just forgot to reform our education system, they still produce for the manufacturing sector, producing a skill set which now does not hold that much economic value. My great respect for the people of the United States that they are working to revamp their education system that can produce kids with skills sets that are a better match for the current and the future economic environment. Thus the country is working hard to change the system, and thus be able to maintain its super power position for at least the next 30-40 years.

For all those reading this post, it is important to realize that to gain more economic wealth it is important that we realize that the rules of the game have changed and a new set of skills are required.

So what are those skills sets? I am not an authority or even qualified to claim the magic formula but for sure I can speculate. Today creative qualities, teamwork, initiative, openness, experimentation have a higher economic value. Creative qualities not just the stereotype advertising, marketing, but in all fields, new ways to manage a business, new ways to run a factory, new ways in education, new inventions, new leaderships, new ways to motivate etc.

I claim, although not in a scientific manner; looking at the salary scales today, those jobs where we are told what to do, are low paying jobs (clerical, blue collar, etc). But instead, high paying jobs require us to think from the moment we enter our offices and till the time we leave, nobody tells us what to do for the entire day. We need to think of solutions to problems, find for inefficiencies, fix them, and anticipate business needs, prepare plans, initiate new things, all by our own without somebody telling us what to do. We need to think of everything on our own. Sometimes we need to experiment, sometimes just initiate, acknowledging lack of complete information, try new technologies, sometimes innovate our way out in our daily work lives.

Thus what is this nation (USA) doing to face this fast paced changing reality? It is encouraging its children, its future generations to play and learn. Because playing is one activity that a child does without the fear of failure, learns by doings, trying, experimenting, and moreover is not stuck by inertia. Not concerned with what others think of him and just plays for fun.

Today science is not being taught just in the class room but out in the open. Experiments are not just memorized or visualized but in a playful manner performed. This training that American kids receive from their early ages remains with them forever. This would be a recipe for the nation to continue to lead the world in technology, new management ideas, Nobel prizes and economic wage premium over other nations of the world.

The advantages with this training are that kids grow into being more flexible individuals, open to changes, thinkers, and starters. Also they tend to think outside the box and challenge the established ways. They quickly realize that there could be more than one effective way to deal with the situation or one might have to make decisions, not one but many, sometimes, based on untested assumptions, or even lack of complete information. For example, in a game where a group of kids are asked to use the available tools in a garage and use them to build a miniature city or bridge in the open. This quickly teaches them the qualities of leadership, organization, teamwork, management etc.

My post is underweighting the skill to “unlearn" but it’s actually very important. I believe moreover important because with this rate of change, people might have to actually unlearn skills that have become obsolete or comes in way of the new required skills. For instance many jobs today are not about 9 to 5 (one needs to unlearn this expectation) but continuous all day all time, anywhere and everywhere. This is facilitated via blackberry, I phone, work from home culture.

This particular format of education is completely different from the existing school system in so many countries. It produces people more apt to face the new economy.

If anybody has other ideas, please leave a comment. Also open to discussions. Let’s discuss!!!

Dedicated to my niece and nephew.... Vriti and Heet.lso in the foreseeable future USA could continue to maintain this position. No doubt that this position would be challenged by emerging nations specially China. Some of my experiences show me that this country and its people make conscience investment to maintain that edge over the world. One area that I see this being done at the grass root level is in education.

We need to understand the world is rapidly changing in the last 300-400 years and continuous to do so. The rate of change or the first derivative is much higher in the modern times than it was in 1000 year back or even before. Why am I getting to this discussion? Because it is important for one to understand that human beings need to develop (be trained) certain skills that would enable them to earn for themselves and make money. (Wages are higher for the skills in demand)

Historically, with agriculture, industrialization one needed a slew or battery of workers who would follow a particular pattern of work and continue to do it for the entire day. Thus our schooling system was so designed. We were made to reach to school early in the morning, punctuality was paramount. We wore uniforms so our individualities were suppressed (as in factories) and we were all being told what to do what to read, how to do and how are behavior should be, combined with other rules and discipline that we needed to maintain. Our schools were the feeder system, a training ground, for the industries.

Economic value of the skills of being disciplined, following order, not thinking, mundane working, was high, hence higher monetary reward for it. Thus that is why you would find your grandparents, in some cases your own parents all about discipline, no questioning of the established order. But now the world is changing, going back to my previous point that the rate of change in the world is much higher. In simple words, the world is changing quickly.

Our economies have changed, we moved from Agriculture to Industrialization to Services and now as some predict we are about to move into an Experience economy. Those who perfected agriculture could command a premium from those who were still dependent on hunting and other primitive methods of survival like food gathering.

Then the world caught up so Europe moved into industrialization and they could command a premium for their goods and this is one of the reasons that they could colonize a large part of the world.

But then again in the recent past of 50-100 years the manufacturing industries started losing the battle and it was the Services sector that was commanding the premium and the western world was soon to adapt and prepared for it and were ready for the change. The activity of lower economic value was outsourced to the emerging nations like Japan, South Korea, China, Vietnam, Philippines and others. And the western world continued to reap large premium for the Services sector. I predict that as the world now moves the Experience sector would be the next big thing. Again these countries would be able to maintain their advantage as they have a better standard of living, law and order and general civil liberties. More people will want to experience these experiences.

The above thesis can be easily verified from how the composition of GDP changed over the years for these western countries. Today most of their GDP is largely from Services Sector.

So what happened, where am I going? What happened to my primary point of discussion? With all this we just forgot to reform our education system, they still produce for the manufacturing sector, producing a skill set which now does not hold that much economic value. My great respect for the people of the United States that they are working to revamp their education system that can produce kids with skills sets that are a better match for the current and the future economic environment. Thus the country is working hard to change the system, and thus be able to maintain its super power position for at least the next 30-40 years.

For all those reading this post, it is important to realize that to gain more economic wealth it is important that we realize that the rules of the game have changed and a new set of skills are required.

So what are those skills sets? I am not an authority or even qualified to claim the magic formula but for sure I can speculate. Today creative qualities, teamwork, initiative, openness, experimentation have a higher economic value. Creative qualities not just the stereotype advertising, marketing, but in all fields, new ways to manage a business, new ways to run a factory, new ways in education, new inventions, new leaderships, new ways to motivate etc.

I claim, although not in a scientific manner; looking at the salary scales today, those jobs where we are told what to do, are low paying jobs (clerical, blue collar, etc). But instead, high paying jobs require us to think from the moment we enter our offices and till the time we leave, nobody tells us what to do for the entire day. We need to think of solutions to problems, find for inefficiencies, fix them, and anticipate business needs, prepare plans, initiate new things, all by our own without somebody telling us what to do. We need to think of everything on our own. Sometimes we need to experiment, sometimes just initiate, acknowledging lack of complete information, try new technologies, sometimes innovate our way out in our daily work lives.

Thus what is this nation (USA) doing to face this fast paced changing reality? It is encouraging its children, its future generations to play and learn. Because playing is one activity that a child does without the fear of failure, learns by doings, trying, experimenting, and moreover is not stuck by inertia. Not concerned with what others think of him and just plays for fun.

Today science is not being taught just in the class room but out in the open. Experiments are not just memorized or visualized but in a playful manner performed. This training that American kids receive from their early ages remains with them forever. This would be a recipe for the nation to continue to lead the world in technology, new management ideas, Nobel prizes and economic wage premium over other nations of the world.

The advantages with this training are that kids grow into being more flexible individuals, open to changes, thinkers, and starters. Also they tend to think outside the box and challenge the established ways. They quickly realize that there could be more than one effective way to deal with the situation or one might have to make decisions, not one but many, sometimes, based on untested assumptions, or even lack of complete information. For example, in a game where a group of kids are asked to use the available tools in a garage and use them to build a miniature city or bridge in the open. This quickly teaches them the qualities of leadership, organization, teamwork, management etc.

My post is underweighting the skill to “unlearn" but it’s actually very important. I believe moreover important because with this rate of change, people might have to actually unlearn skills that have become obsolete or comes in way of the new required skills. For instance many jobs today are not about 9 to 5 (one needs to unlearn this expectation) but continuous all day all time, anywhere and everywhere. This is facilitated via blackberry, I phone, work from home culture.

This particular format of education is completely different from the existing school system in so many countries. It produces people more apt to face the new economy.

If anybody has other ideas, please leave a comment. Also open to discussions. Let’s discuss!!!

Dedicated to my niece and nephew.... Vriti and Heet.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

The Controlled Experiment

This is how it all began. My roommate asked me if I would accompany him to the store in the neighborhood to buy a pack of cigarettes. I agreed and while walking I thought this is the time I should try my experiment because then I could tell myself with confidence that trying alcohol was not under the influence of peer pressure, want to have a good time, or for social acceptability, etc and I also never had it in my mind so I thought this is a good time as this could be primarily dedicated to science and I could have a new experience.

We reached the store and bought a six pack of Bud lite (beer) and walked back home. Then I and all of my roommates sat in the balcony and began drinking. My first reaction when I tasted beer was "yuck". I did not want to have another sip but I was quite determined to complete the experiment and meet the objectives of the experiment.

Thus I drank not one beer but two, and what NO effect! I just left like I was having some aerated drink that just helped digestion. I could feel the noodles (Maggie) that I had 2 hours back was being digested quickly. I was kind of disappointed that my experiment would fail. In the living room I asked my roommate what else I could do? Then I had 2 oz of Jack Daniels whisky one 1.5oz with orange and mango juice and the remaining with water. I just hated the taste not only of whisky but also of the juice. My face would make involuntary dirty expressions due to the bad taste and if I remember well I felt like puking with each sip just because of the dirty taste. I was reluctantly having the smallest sip possible then roommate gave me an idea that see it is the same distaste per sip why not just gulp down a few larger sip and get over with the glass. I liked the idea and there I went the entire glass of whisky over in 3 large gulps.

I was expecting that I would be thrown off by this as I was a first time drinker but nothing happened and then we decided to call it a night so we decided to go the balcony so my roommate could have a smoke. He was explaining which parts of the brains get knocked off and the cerebellum and how the cerebrum tries to compensate for it. And all the science stuff as he is a doctor. WOW it started coming in waves to me, I started finding hard to follow him my logic was and short-term memory was getting knocked. He then asked me to stand at attention and close my eyes, it is a standard test to check if you start swaying means your cerebellum is out, the reason for one to close the eyes is because with the eyes closed the cerebrum (the replacement) cannot function and one is forced to use the cerebellum to stand. The next he asked me to walk on a straight white line which was there in the yard. I had hand movements to balance myself. I could feel the effects of alcohol and I acknowledge it a few minutes later. I was little slow to acknowledge that alcohol had an effect on me because somehow other than my motor movements I was fine I was still engaged in the science and asking questions not just listening. 5-10 minutes into when I acknowledged that now I have to make an effort to talk and the conversation is becoming a little difficult to follow. Alcohol Effects OVER! Back to normal, my body metabolized alcohol pretty quickly and I was normal. That disappointed me as I wanted to go all out. We called it a night and both decided to go to sleep.

I called my girlfriend and was describing the entire experience and as I was talking I though since I am almost there why not just go all out, I went in got my age proof and my credit card and walked to the same store to get more alcohol so this time I thought let’s try Vodka.

I bought 200ml of 80 proof Takka Vodka and a 590ml bottle of coke with some peanuts and I came back home got on to Skype and with my girlfriend helping me out with proportions and I finish the entire package in 20mins. Boom!!! I was out. Completely out! Gone! Done!

I lost complete control of my motor movements, my head was still thinking but had no control over myself, in the sense I could not stop myself from talking or doing anything. I knew I was talking non-stop but couldn't stop myself. I went on telling my girlfriend that alcohol is now in bloodstream and is taking my cerebullm out and by then I was completely swaying to and fro. To hold my head straight was such a difficult talk, I was being told that take care otherwise I would snap my neck, I realized the danger and acknowledged but was finding it difficult to order my brain to execute my thinking and act according to the danger, to put in simple words I could take in information and process the information but I would completely fail to act, I had not much control over my actions. I really could not order my brain to stop talking or act in face of danger.

I was speaking a lot of stuff to my girlfriend, which for obvious reasons I cannot make public over the internet. But then I started puking, I was finding it difficult to even stand and reach the bathroom I was banging myself on the walls. Then I was thinking vomiting was risky and to hedge my risk I thought I must somehow walk to the kitchen and get a few plastic bags so then I would be able to restrict my movements and sit in one place and be able to puke into the plastic bags.

It was getting bad and I was very sad and at that point I just wanted to be normal myself. I just wanted to get over with it. And I was making up my mind that I hate this taste and did not like it, would never do it even for another experiment. Then there was a voice that was telling me you should wake up your roommates they would be able to help you. I just followed that voice and walked towards his room. I banged into the sidewalls a thousand times and then my roommate woke up with all the sound. At the same time I had another urge to vomit so I rushed to the bathroom and sat down and vomited. The best part then I kept my head on the rim of the toilet and fell asleep. Two of my roommates tried to pull me and supporting me sent me back into my room to sleep. And I was shouting all the time I wanted this to end immediately and I hate this, I will never do this, I need to end this - and fell asleep.

Thought process into the Controlled Experiment

Today was my very first alcohol drink in my life. I plan this post to be the various factors that seduced me into drinking for the 1st time. All my close friends would be baffled when they would know that I had alcohol. Generally i am the one sober person entrusted with duty to make sure all my friends reach home safely.

There were various factors that lead me into trying alcohol. I used to spend hours and days sometimes debating with myself if I should try alcohol. My experience as a student at Tulane University and the whole American experience played a major role in me being open to new experiences. It was only due to these experiences that i could differentiate a person from his alcohol habits. Most of the actions that a person does under the influence of alcohol comes from the base nature, character, feelings, habits, cravings, insecurities, emotional pains, etc of the person. Not from alcohol, alcohol is a facilitator, that’s it.

Let say if Mr. X was a one woman man he would not indulge in one night stands after having alcohol. This distinction was very important to me because then I could see that its only alcohol allowing one to be oneself. So blame it on him or alcohol? For me it became clear it’s the person, feelings, cravings, etc deep within that just manifests aided by alcohol. Don't kill the messenger with bad news!!!!!!!

My major worry was, would alcohol drinking lead me to one night stands and screw up my beautiful relationship with my girlfriend, who has threatened me with one night with someone else, it game over with her. That was such a strong motivator so i wanted to be sure what causes what, thus I realized alcohol would not cause me to hump a girl, would only if i actually wanted it. That distinction was so important.